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xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
 Posted - 02/01/2008 : 20:55:41
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Without boring you with all the detail I heard a similar story about a mouse that played a piano while a canary sang. The guy wouldn't sell the act claiming "It wouldn't be right." "Why not?", he was asked. His answer? "The canary can't sing, the mouse is a ventriloquist"!
Xhi
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2008 : 21:41:14
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are you saying I bored you     hehehe yepp heard the same one... |
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xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2008 : 23:07:15
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heroness48, I meant boring if I wrote the details which would have been similar to the ones you so aptly and interestingly wrote.
Xhi
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2008 : 07:58:48
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Just funning with ya XHI as far as the aptly and interestingly portion of the program...copy/paste is gotta love those Abbott & Costello routines
One of my favourites is Turkey Sandwich and Cup of Coffee routine
from "Keep E'm Flying", 1941.
http://tinyurl.com/28jrul |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2008 : 14:24:27
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Reference Herroness 48: Your "?Joke?" about the "Lieing Dog.
I don't get that joke Heroness.
Being a "Tennessean" I have raised and hunted many dogs, Mostly Beagles for Rabbits and Tennessee Mountain Mountain Curs, Now called "Original Mountain Curs" for Treeing animals, such as Squirrels, 'possums and 'coons, and whenever I got a "lieing dog" I got rid of Him/Her as fast as I could.
If you don't believe some Hunting dogs lie ask MrKite, a fellow Tennessean, I'm sure he has hunted with a few "Lieing Dogs."
The first Mountain Cur I owned came from MrKite's neck of the woods, Or at least that side of the river. She was a good one, never lied to me and produced many pups that never lied.
seadog
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2008 : 15:56:53
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No one is boring me...I've been sitting here chuckling over the dog and lawyer ones as I catch up on the posts. Thanks for the good laughs. I really needed them this weekend as our house is once again in crisis mode over my daughter's placement.
Pharmacymom |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2008 : 16:48:21
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Pharmacymom, This ones for you and your Daughter. Sent to me by my Daughter.
A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America! The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says , "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work!!!!!!
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Snowball
Senior Member
2686 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2008 : 20:40:42
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Seadog,
How true!!! |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 02/05/2008 : 19:46:02
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LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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Edited by - H48 on 02/05/2008 19:47:34 |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 02/05/2008 : 20:46:06
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quote:
Originally posted by Seadog
Pharmacymom, This ones for you and your Daughter. Sent to me by my Daughter.
A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America! The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says , "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work!!!!!!
Love it Seadog |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2008 : 22:33:55
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H48: That explains perfectly what my dear departed mother-in-law called her senior moments. I just hope I last that long to enjoy them.
Pharmacymom |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2008 : 06:59:47
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BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9260 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2008 : 11:11:07
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A Toddlers Tea Party
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and
my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a
half years old and had just recovered from an accident in
which my arm had been broken among other injuries.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift
and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living
room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was
playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a
little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups
of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came
home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch
me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest
thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the
hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink
it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place
that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'
With GOD, your line of credit has no limit. |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2008 : 13:02:34
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Cute
Not too long ago there was commentary out in regards to some toilet water being safer to drink than some municipal supplies |
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Snowball
Senior Member
2686 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2008 : 14:29:21
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It never occurs to people that the water in your toilet bowl is the same water you drink out of your tap. If you keep the toilet bowl clean everyday, it is safer than the water in public drinking fountains. (Bubbler if you live in Milwaukee.)
That's why dogs drink out of the toilet bowl rather than there own bowl. The water is constantly being replaced therefore it stays fresh. If you don't change the water in the dogs bowl everyday, he/she will start drinking from the toilet. Dogs rarely touch water that has been sitting stagnant for a day. |
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