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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
 Posted - 03/11/2007 : 12:29:25
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A Monday joke (or Tue,or WED, etc,etc.)
This is for all the working stiffs:
When you are having a rough day, Here is an 8-step stress management program recommended in the latest psychological texts.
1. Pitcure yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "The World".
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily see the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See! you're smiling already.... |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 02:56:57
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quote:
Originally posted by Seadog
A Monday joke (or Tue,or WED, etc,etc.)
This is for all the working stiffs:
When you are having a rough day, Here is an 8-step stress management program recommended in the latest psychological texts.
1. Pitcure yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "The World".
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily see the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See! you're smiling already....
It works for those of us who work nights too. You haven't been where I work have you?---really liked line 8!
Pharmacymom |
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Ddave
Junior Member
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 09:09:25
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| That does help a bit. |
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beditor
New Member
76 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 13:12:44
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AHHH, I feel so much better! Thanks.
Barbara |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2007 : 12:57:18
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A calm, respectable lady went into a pharmcy and walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said " I would like to buy some cyanide."
The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world would need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison husband."
The Pharmacist eyes got big, and he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law I would loose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.
The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "Well, now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription...."
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Edited by - Seadog on 03/15/2007 13:00:17 |
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Swani
Intermediate Member
1490 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2007 : 21:16:57
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| lol |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2007 : 18:52:07
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| ROFL! |
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Swani
Intermediate Member
1490 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2007 : 19:52:39
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| Now that's funny |
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morgoth
Intermediate Member
864 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2007 : 09:17:38
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very strange......
reminds me of a pipe specification document that "floated" around a while back. I no longer have the paper but some of the specs included
- pipe over 500' in length must be marked "long pipe"
- all pipe over 1 mile in length must be marked "long pipe" on both ends AND in the middle so that the plumber does not need to walk it's entire length to determine that it is long
- at all time the OD must exceed the ID, otherwise the hole will be on the outside
I seem to remember the original spec had some twenty lines...
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LennyS
Senior Member
4000 Posts |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1277 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2007 : 16:52:39
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quote:
Originally posted by LennyS
SiteAdvisor has it yellow. If you only read it, should be OK.
Lenny
If you go to the SiteAdvisor site and enter the domain you get a detailed report (far more useful than the toolbar IMO):
http://www.siteadvisor.com/sites/crosswalk.com
The yellow seems to be largely because "When we signed up here, this site posted our e-mail address on the Web, making it available to spammers." |
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LennyS
Senior Member
4000 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2007 : 19:40:43
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Thanks for the info zak.
Lenny |
Edited by - LennyS on 03/27/2007 20:21:42 |
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Swani
Intermediate Member
1490 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2007 : 20:42:55
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| Seadog, I liked your joke |
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dadmc1
Senior Member
2512 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2007 : 10:14:27
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To fully appreciate this you have to be old enough to remember the famous Abbott and Costello routine "Who's on first?" and too old to really understand computers. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT:Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT:Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't
even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2007 : 11:39:38
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momndadmc1,
I am at a "between" age so I can appreciate the old school and the new. That skit brought back memories! |
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